Even if your early environment was one of empathic failure, developmental trauma, and insecure attachment, it is never too late [to heal]. The wild realities of neuroplasticity and the courage of the human heart is unstoppable and an erupting force of creativity.
– Matt Licata
I’ve been feeling so inspired and elated lately by the changes I’m seeing in my people* that I just wanted to celebrate with you.
(*The word “client” is so impersonal and clinical, when the work we do together is about deep caring and being with the specific expression of each person’s history. But I feel that I have to use it to be clear, while “people” feels more human but slightly odd/vague. Anyway…)
Each woman who comes into my session space or meets with me online has, of course, a unique story of what happened in her early years and how that has impacted her emotionally, psychologically, physically, and physiologically. Some of the women have chronic pain, gut challenges or auto-immune issues, others have sleep disturbances or struggle with anxiety and depression. They feel held back in their careers, or their love life, or in their sense of joy and creativity. For some of my people, the world or other folks can feel overwhelming and unsafe, and they can find themselves suddenly taken over by panic in the middle of the street. Exhaustion is a pretty prevalent theme.
All of them have struggled like this for years — maybe even for a lifetime. It can feel so hopeless, like things will never change.
And yet I am witnessing things changing, not only for my people, but in myself and my community of practitioners as we receive this work too and share our personal stories of change.
There’s a shift in how we hold ourselves — our more buoyant, open bodies and faces; in a new brightness in the eyes, a stronger voice.
It’s in the way we start to have more space when conflict arises, and just pause to let something different transpire instead of the old, knee-jerk patterns.
It’s even in a different use of language that shows how our perspectives about ourselves and others are shifting as our resilience grows.
It’s in having more capacity to stay in connection with other people without abandoning ourselves and what we need.
Just reading that back to myself makes me want to cheer!
Let me be quick to add that these aren’t big, obvious changes — often it’s a smidgeon of a shift one week, a noticing after the fact, that, “Oh wait, I didn’t react the way I usually do…” — but one day we realize that the way we are is just different now than before, in a way that feels solid in its quietness.
I hope you feel inspired reading this, and that it gives you hope that things can change in your life!
photo credit: audreyjm529
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